“You can relate to yourself with both accountability and gentleness. In fact you must.” Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Self-compassion is an essential ingredient for change, as it allows us to step outside of the common pattern of vacillating between self-condemnation and over-indulgence to see oneself clearly.
I sometimes hear the concern that if we are too kind to ourselves then we will never make changes. We know, however, that our tendency to try to shame ourselves into change predictably backfires and creates further distress.
Try self-compassion instead. Speak to yourself with compassion and kindness. Nurture yourself like you would a younger version of you, a great friend, a beautiful plant (if you speak to your plants?), or someone you love. Through compassion, change can be cultivated and new patterns can emerge.