Rethinking our ‘Weaknesses’

Our weaknesses are simply our overplayed strengths. Embrace them.

My mom would remind me of this perspective growing up, and it transformed the way I viewed my own challenges, weaknesses and flaws, and the way I viewed others.  It helped me reframe my sensitivity from seeing myself as “too sensitive,” to embracing my conscientiousness and compassion for others, and to appreciating my strong emotional connection to self and those around me. It reframed my friend’s ‘bossiness’ to her loyalty, strength of sprit, and confidence.

Our weaknesses, challenges, flaws—not only often make us beautiful, but they typically are our very powerful strengths just dialed up a few too many notches. We get into trouble when we shame ourselves or try to force a characteristic in or out of our personality. If we learn instead to embrace our “limitations” and see them as strengths in disguise, we are able to gently shift (rather than force a complete 180.) Change of any kind is not born from shame. When we accept ourselves and have self-compassion, then we can find space for change.

Stubborn—> persistent, determined
Emotional/dramatic—> thoughtful, sensitive
Demanding—>confident, expressive
Picky—> decisive, vocal
Reactive—> passionate
Passive—> attuned, protective
Inflexible—> cautious, strong-willed

I could go on! Your personality traits (and flaws) are what makes you, you. Embrace them!*

*sometimes we mistake survival strategies born out of trauma as fixed traits. We similarly do so with our attachment style. These are not fixed and can shift with healing, integration, relationships, and insight. But that’s a post for another day.